Questioning

today i went to the funeral of man that i didnt know very well but he was one of those things that have made up my life in this past year and a half at uni. His death was a shock and tho i didnt know him well my friends and i thought we would attend his funeral. it was a lovely service that reflected this man's character very well. The thing that i am struggling about now is life after death. i dont know what this man believed and i believe only God can judge the thoughts and intents of a person's heart but the impression i got was that he didnt believe in God. This person was a good man and i struggle with the fact that he may well now be in hell. i love having a relationship with God but it is times like this i wish there wasnt a God. it pains me to think that a man who loved and gave is now in hell because of the lack of his faith in God. Sometimes i wish we did get to heaven thru good works but i guess we would never measure up and it was Gods grace that he sent his son for us. i used to think how can atheist and evolutionists bear to believe that after death there is nothing, and how hopeless that must be ...i thought it is so much more awesome to believe there is a reason for your life and that there is life after death...and dont get me wrong that is awesome and i am very happy and thankful for it! However i can now see why it is easier to believe in nothing than to believe that there are two places. i think as christians we need to remember that we must be extremely hard for ppl who have recently lost or have never gotten over the death of a love one to become a believer in Christ because by them becoming a christian they have to believe that there beloved went to a different place. hmmm i dont know if these is making sense but oh well i need to blurgh. this experience has made me realise how important a christians life is to spread the news of Christ to non believers, we should all get a deep conviction and a deep love for people and want to tell them how to live free in this life and the next, i only wish i had more confidence and boldness to do it. i think of my friends and how i just let them go about themselves and i dont stand up or share anything ever, and death comes so suddenly...i only hope that my life encourages others to think about God and i pray that i will know the words to speak and the courage to speak it. Oh well. it was good to get that out and i dont know if it made much sense but since nobody reads this it really doesnt matter. :) blessings